Introduction
“For we know that the whole creation groaneth
and travaileth in pain together until now. And not only they, but ourselves
also, which have the first-fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within
ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.”(Rom.
8:22-23)
As
a direct result of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, all creation is in a
vicious cycle of death and deterioration, just waiting for the redemption of
humanity. (Rom. 8:20-23)
“And God shall wipe away all
tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor
crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed
away.” (Rev.21:4)
One
day, when the New Heaven and New Earth appear, God will abolish all death,
pain, and sorrow for all eternity. Perhaps this is the answer to (Romans
8:22-23). Until then we are admonished “to occupy till He comes” (Luke 19:13).
I have found that most people, yes even staunch Christians, Pastors, and
members of the Clergy, often find it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to search the Scriptures for
consolation in their own personal times
of tragedy. However, when given appropriate literature they have expressed
gratitude and relief as well as the ability to navigate the grieving process,
and recovering, and healing sooner than others might expect them to. In short
people will pick up a booklet to read before the Scriptures. Most Bible
bookstores have an excellent selection of books on the select topic, with
subjects directed toward widows, widowers, grieving children, even divorcees.
I have also found that quite often
most people are at a loss over what to say or do when confronted by someone in
the process of grieving. For this purpose I have written the second half of
this book called Oil and Wine. It is designed to train God’s children to
administer “first aid” to the wounded,[as a sort of first responder] until
more, if needed professional help is acquired.
Prayerfully, this will be of
assistance in such a time of need.
“Be of the same mind one to
another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise
in your own conceits.” (Rom.12:16)
A late, but wise, Pastor of mine
used to say, “If you have a congregation of mixed social-economic and
educational backgrounds, preach to the lowest level and you will reach the
highest level at the same time, but if you preach to the highest level you will
miss the lower levels and many of those in between.
There are some excellent resources which describe the grieving process
with clarity. With that in mind I promise to attempt to keep it as brief and to
the point as possible, keeping in mind also that the Scriptures have a great
deal to say on the subject; therefore, I will base this thesis on the Biblical
foundation. I hesitate to use the term “thesis” as I don’t want to convey the
illusion of a post-graduate doctoral paper. Rather my desire is that it be
easily read and understood by the man or woman on the street.
My desire is
to equip the laity (Samaritans, if you will) with enough information to pour Oil and Wine [first aid]
upon the wounded in their time of need. To equip them with only the basic
necessities to help those in need, to hear their brokenness, feel their pain,
and offer prayer and comfort.
James 2:14-18 “What doth it profit, my brethren,
though a man say he have faith, and have not works? Can faith save him? If a
brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say
unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give
them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even
so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou
hast faith and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will
shew thee my faith by my works.”
See part 2 Oil and Wine.
Lightning—a metaphor
I
have chosen the title When Lightning Strikes to illustrate
the sometimes paralyzing and deadly force a tragedy may have in attacking an
individual, family or group of people. Lightning can either come seemingly out
of nowhere or we may have advanced warning. It has been said that if you count,
by seconds, the time between the sound of thunder until you see the lightning
flash, it will be an indicator of how close the lightning strike was. To be
sure, some survive and thrive, while still others succumb to suffer more
lasting and devastating effects.
Could it be
that Jesus was referring to the same storms of life in Matthew 7:24-27 when he
spoke of the man who built his house upon the rock as opposed to the man who
built his house upon the sand.
The house
built on the rock withstood the storms of life as contrasted to the house on
the sand which fell and was destroyed. To be sure the ones who build their
faith on the Rock, Christ Jesus, do in fact weather the storms of life far
better than those of little or no faith. We who are the “first responders” are
given privilege to help the stricken to weather the storms and rebuild on the
solid rock of Christ.
Certainly it
strikes a sense of fear, vulnerability, and of being violated into the hearts
of those unwitting participants. The more intense the trauma the greater the
opportunity for long term even lifelong altering changes. For evidence of its
devastating affects one has only to follow a story in the local newspaper. I
believe that somehow and to some degree we have all become rather insensitive
to tragedy as long as it’s not personal. It is almost as if it were some sort
of anesthesia administered publicly which to some degree, at least, may be beneficial
in staying off widespread panic and pandemonium. When we were children the
prevailing attitude was “It will never happen to me” or “It always happens to
the other person”. We thought “I’m indestructible” or “I’ll live forever”.
Scriptures
are replete with accounts of individuals being struck with “lightning”;
therefore I will draw upon some of these accounts. Noting also that while
tragedy comes in all forms and has many manifestations the one most often
acknowledged is death, as it has the most severe and devastating and eternal
effects.
For example: loss of employment,
income, health, wealth, friendships, fire, wind, earthquake, flood, or pet,
failing a test or exam and so on. All these and more are traumatic events to
which each and every one of us will to some degree experience at one time or
another during our brief visit on this planet that we call home. (See
Rom.8:22-23; Rev. 21:4.) To be sure absolutely no one is exempt, neither race,
gender, nationality, age, affluence, influence or otherwise.
The
story is told of a prominent family counselor who was to be honored for his
work. During the reception line, whereby his friends and colleagues would offer
congratulations, he decided to conduct an experiment on them without their
knowledge. As each colleague passed by offering their accolades, he would say
to them, something like this: my mother-in-law fell off the roof and broke her
neck, or my cat got run over by a car today. He told several “stories” with the
intent of observing the responses he received from the unwitting participants.
His observation was astounding as various ones would reply with something like
this: “Oh that’s great”; or “I’m so happy for you”, or “Congratulations, I know
you’re so proud.” Thus proving that people either do not listen, are not paying
attention to what is being said, or God forbid, simply don’t care.
Sadly
that is exactly what happens every day. We encounter people in all walks of
life who are smiling on the outside while dying on the inside. In effect they
are living double lives. I know of professionals who are able to keep a façade of deep seated
hurts, like divorce, terminal illness, and wayward children, the list goes on
and on and on. They may be your next door neighbor, a co-worker, or someone at
your place of worship, perhaps even your best friend.
So why don’t they speak up? Why
don’t they tell someone they are hurting so badly? Perhaps even worse, why do
so many pass by on the other side when needed help is obvious?
When
Lightning Strikes offers the answers to those haunting questions. Oil and Wine offers helpful solutions to administer aid and
comfort to those in need.
Author’s note: I have
observed the reluctance of hurting people, including myself, to share their
hurts and pains. People don’t speak up or ask for help for a variety of
reasons.
The notable causes for the
reluctance to share are:
1.
The obvious lack of compassion and concern, both in
and out of the church. The impatience and apathy of those listening.
2.
The sense of “not wanting to get involved”.
3.
The lack of “knowledge” of “what to do or say”
(lack of training).
4.
The innate sense that “no one cares”, so I won’t
share.
5.
They often assume they can’t trust anyone.
Sometimes it includes, God
forbid, pastors, ministers, and church leaders, the very ones charged with the
oversight of God’s sheep.
Our Mother’s Funeral
Our mother passed away just before Thanksgiving in 2001. Our
father and mother had been married for 66 years. Dad was heartbroken to lose
his soul-mate of 66 years.
Dad had cancer and we expected him to go first, so it took all of us by
surprise when Mom went first. She passed away in her sleep, suffering a massive
stroke, while laying next to Dad, caused from the stress of caring for him.
During the funeral, Dad being hard of hearing, arose and
stood by Mom’s casket sobbing, as he leaned over to give her one last kiss and
hug. He would have done anything to have joined her right then and there. Dad
passed away six months later.
That was, perhaps the most tender and kindest expression of love I’ve
ever witnessed.
I’m grateful to all those who ministered to my family and myself
including my older sisters Jean Elliott and Ann Schultz. They truly poured Oil and Wine
When Lightning Strikes
A Time to Mourn a
Time to Heal
A Study of Grief
Author: Richard
Godfrey
This book is a must read for anyone desiring to know how to
comfort those in need. It is based on sound biblical teachings with a composite
of interviews and stories of real people struggling with a variety of grief;
helpful and insightful to both the lay person and the clergy.
