Read Genesis 30-31
Jealousy
and Dysfunctional Family Issues
1-8
Now here’s a scene of family dysfunction including barrenness,
jealousy, anger, sibling competiveness for honor of their mutual husband (8),
and scheming, not to mention polygamy. [And just when you thought the Old
Testament families were devoid of problems.] This requires careful study that
one not be confused with the facts. Leah gives birth to four sons in succession
while Rachel is barren [of the Lord…unbeknownst to all (or at least the text is
silent on the matter)]
·
Rachel becomes jealous of her older sister.
·
Rachel then threatens her/their husband,
Jacob, with self destruction [at least it’s implied] if he doesn’t give her
children.
·
This angers Jacob against the one with whom he
fell in love in the first place, so he has strong words with her. Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from the
fruit of thy womb? See Ps.127:1-5 Lo,
children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Children
are to be considered a blessing from the Lord, not a curse, and as such it may
help explain the anxiety of being barren and ridiculed by the other women.
·
The result of this mini family feud is
another woman, Bilhah, Rachel’s servant, is now elevated to the office of wife. [Remember how Hagar was promoted]?
So, now Jacob has three wives to con tend with!
·
Bilhah gives birth to two sons; Dan and
Naphtali.
Quick! I
need more gasoline for this inferno!
Leah weighs in giving Jacob yet another wife, as
she sees her own fruitfulness has stopped, [as she is not about to be outdone
by her sister], Zilpah, who bears a son named Gad. [Remember, Hagar was
elevated from a servant to the status of wife which meant she had all the
rights and privileges as did Sarai. Now Ziplah is added to the list of wives.
In ancient times a wife was more than just a piece of property. Ziplah also was
elevated in position of wife, above that of a servant and bears a son
named Asher, making Leah happy as a lark.
Note: It’s interesting that despite the polygamy God is
silent on the issues and yet He neither condones nor condemns the practice. The
Lord, himself, is in ultimate control regardless of man’s behavior. As
in Abraham’s sin God also blest Jacob despite his sin; the reason had not to do
with anything of Jacob’s doing, but that God would honor His own word and
promise to Abraham.
It’s amazing that despite of
all the crudeness and sinfulness of man God had grace upon those who
demonstrated faith; [faith: being persuaded, convinced, and convicted] it also
underscores our situation today in that though we sin while on this journey…it
is not our work that saves us but our faith…we are convinced, persuaded, and
convicted of God’s salvation, His faithfulness, His ability, and His trustworthiness.
Jacob had only to maintain and nurture his belief in the Lord God and was the
recipient of God’s grace! No matter what sins we commit His grace exceeds all
our wickedness Eph.2:8-9…For by grace are
ye saved through faith.
Definitions:
·
Polygamy:
custom of more than one husband or wife. The custom of having more than one
husband or wife at the same time in societies where this is legal.
·
Polycoity:
refers to a marriage pattern in which a man takes an additional wife, beyond
his primary wife [a concubine or handmaid] who is of lower social status than
the primary wife. [Zilpah and Bilah were both handmaids.]
·
Polygyny:
a marriage between one man and two or more women of equal socioeconomic status.
·
Primary
wives: two or more wives of equal socioeconomic status. Marriage to a primary
wife is established on the basis of a conjugal fund property to which both
spouses contribute and which becomes the foundation of the economic and legal
rights of the primary wife.
·
Secondary
wives: purpose to build up the husband’s lineage and or to provide sexual
enjoyment for the husband. [Usually a handmaid or servant]. A secondary wife is
a woman without economic standing in her husband’s household.
·
Sororal
polygyny: wives of equal socioeconomic status [Leah and Rachel as primary
wives] and [Zilpah and Bilah as secondary wives].
When Solomon took 1000 wives
and concubines, the Bible cites his polygamy as the reason of the fall of his
faith, and for his kingdom being torn in two after his death (1 Kings 11:1-12).
The Bible mentions approximately forty polygymists, including Abraham, Jacob,
Esau, David, and King Solomon.
·
Genesis-Deuteronomy
includes specific regulations on the practice of polygamy. Exodus 21:10
states that multiple marriages are not to diminish the status of the first
wife, while Deuteronomy 21:15-17 states that a man must award the inheritance due to a first-born son
to the son who was born first, even if he hates that son's mother and likes
another wife more; and Deuteronomy 17:17
states that the king shall not marry many wives. All this does not constitute
God’s endearment to polygamy rather it serves only to address the treatment of
those affected by such behavior. If, in fact, God were to condone and endorse
polygamy in one instance He would of necessity need to endorse every instance
throughout history.
To the contrary for God has
ordained monogamy from the outset of human history in the Garden of Eden in
Genesis 2:21-24 21And the Lord
God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his
ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the Lord God had taken
from man, he made a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones,
and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of
Man. 24Therefore shall a
man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall
be one flesh. 25And they
were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed. This account verifies the monogamous relationship our Creator God designed and intended for His creation. Thus it contradicts teachings that polygamy was condoned by God until the Law of Moses. It is only after man’s fall in the Garden than man begins to “restructure” God’s intended purpose and laws for mankind thereby reaching havoc upon himself by circumventing God’s perfect intents to satisfy his own selfish desires through his own laws.
Christian view
Monogamy is assumed as a "general rule" by the New Testament. Plural marriage is currently rejected by most Christian denominations.
The current predominant belief among Christians in the United States is that polygamy [two or more women of equal social status] is morally wrong. Matthew 19:4-6 4And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Paul limits men and women to one spouse each: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.1Corinthians 7:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach…1 Timothy 3:.-2, 12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children well, and their own houses as well.
An ancient custom
It is of course true that it was an ancient custom, in patriarchal times, and in the days of the Kingdom of Israel, for kings and wealthy men to take plural wives. A harem was one of the symbols of royalty.
When thou art come unto the land which the Eternal thy God giveth thee, and shalt possess it, and shalt dwell therein, and shalt say, I will set a king over me, like as all the nations that are about me. . . . Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away. Deut. 17:14, 17
How many sons thus far?
The score is now:
·
Leah’s four sons: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah.
·
Leah’s daughter: Dinah (21)
Rachel: None! Zip! Nada! Zero! Still barren: by
calculations assuming one (1) child per year, nine (9) years of barrenness for
Rachel [at least] a long time to endure scorn at the hands of “family”. In
ancient times it was common for the barren to be ostracized and ridiculed to
shame, see Samuel’s mother Hannah in 1Samuel 1:1-11.
·
Bilhah’s
(Leah’s handmaid/servant) two sons: Dan and Napthtali
·
Zilpah’s
(Rachel’s handmaid/servant) two sons: Gad and Asher.
Eight sons and one daughter of Jacob thus far and still
more on the way!
14-21
Jacob and Leah’s eldest son, Reuben, finds a highly
prized growth of Mandrakes in the field and takes them to his mother, Leah.
Rachel finds out and attempts to acquire them.
22-24
The Lord God remembers Rachel and she bears Joseph. [This
is not to imply that our Great God somehow “forgets” Rachel; rather it means
that God’s plan was for Rachel to bear Joseph in the latter years for His own
pleasure and divine plan.]
Mandrake:
1 a
plant which can produce hallucinations and other side effects including vomiting,
diarrhea, asphyxiation and possibly fertility. The
alkaloid concentration varies between plant samples and accidental poisoning is
possible.
[And you thought drugs were something newly discovered]! 1 Wikipedia
·
Two
references to (dûdã'im)—literally meaning "love plant" or
“love apples”—occur in the Jewish scriptures.
·
The
predominant traditional Jewish view is that Mandrake was an ancient folk remedy to help barren
women conceive a child.
·
Reuben,
the eldest son of Jacob and Leah finds mandrake in a field. Rachel, Jacob's infertile second wife and
Leah's sister, is desirous of the Mandrake
and barters with Leah for them. The trade offered by Rachel is for Leah to
spend that night in Jacob's bed in exchange for Leah's Mandrake. Leah gives away the plant to her
barren sister, but soon after this (Genesis
30:14–22), Leah, who had previously had four sons but had been infertile for a
long while, became pregnant once more and in time gave birth to two more sons, Issachar
and Zebulun,
and a daughter, Dinah. 1Wikipedia
·
Given
this bit of information it is safe to assume Rachel’s pregnancy was on behalf
of the Lord God opening her womb, not the result of ingesting Mandrake (22-23).
Names have meanings:12 Sons of Jacob
- Reuben: see a son [first born of Leah]
- Simeon: he that hears [Leah]
- Levi: associated with Him [Leah]
- Judah: praise [Leah]
- Dan: a judge or judgment [Bilhah, Rachel’s maid]
- Naphtali: that which struggles [Bilhah, Rachel’s maid]
- Gad: a troop [Zilpah, Leah’s maid]
- Asher: happiness [Ziplah, Leah’s maid]
- Issachar: there is a reward or man of hire [Leah]
- Zebulun: dwelling [Leah]
- Joseph- meaning fruitful or addition [Rachel]
- Benjamin: son of the right hand [Rachel]
·
Nebajoth:
words, prophesies, or buds
·
Kedar:
blackness or sorrow
·
Adbeel:
a cloud of God
·
Mibsam:
smelling sweet
·
Mishma:
obeying or hearing
·
Duma:
silence
·
Massa:
prophecy
·
Hadar:
greatness or power
·
Tema:
perfection
·
Jetur:
succession or order
·
Naphish:
he that rests or refreshes himself
·
Kedemah:
ancient or first
25-43Jacob exacts “revenge” (or was it revenge?)
At
the fulfilling of Jacob’s 14 years of servitude for the hands of Leah and
Rachel, Jacob now begs leave of his father-in-law to take his wives and
families back to his homeland, however Laban has other plans; he has more
treachery in mind for Jacob But the Lord gives Jacob wisdom to overcome Laban’s
deceit.
Jacob’s scheme
Laban
and Jacob had agreed to separate the solid colored animals from the speckled,
grisled, and ringstraked as a means of identifying each other’s property. It
must be immediately done by necessity. So Jacob put distance between himself
and Laban and proceeded to lay out branches near the watering holes, and when
the livestock came to water and conceived Jacob separated them keeping the
stronger to himself and leaving the weaker to Laban.
There is some debate as to the significance of the rods
and branches used by Jacob in the livestock separation, but we do know that
Jacob’s livestock grew immensely in numbers while Laban’s decreased.
·
Some contend it was a sort of divination or
magic
·
Others take the view of divine intervention
·
Still others are mute on the subject
In any case we know it greatly benefited Jacob’s family
and left Laban with weak livestock which angered Laban.
Read Genesis 31:1-55
The matter continues in Ch.31
as the time draws near for Jacob to return to his homeland.
1-2
Jacob overhears Laban’s sons
complaining that Jacob has taken their father’s wealth and he sees Laban is no
longer congenial toward him.
3-13
Now the Lord God speaks to Jacob compelling him to pack
up and leave back to his homeland post haste! Jacob’s response is to gather his
wives and family instructing them to pack up for the journey. The speckled,
ringstraked and spotted are Jacob’s wages as agreed with by Laban and Laban is
left with the weaker livestock. Nothing is inferred in regards to Jacob
purposefully weakening Laban’s livestock. It all appears to be by divine
province (9-13).
In all Jacob served Laban 20
years and entreated him with respect and honor despite how he was treated by
his father-in-law.
6-7
Jacob rehearses Laban’s
treatment of him to his wives Leah and Rachel:
·
Deceived [receiving Leah in the stead of
Rachel]
·
Wages changed to (10) times
all the while Laban is
cheating him God is protecting him from harm and prospering Jacob’s livestock
at the same time, which is precisely why Laban’s sons are complaining in the
first place. 9 Thus God hath taken away
the cattle of your father, and given them to me.
Note:
Jacob states that the Lord kept Laban from harming him (7b). I’m reminded of: when a man’s ways please the Lord, He maketh
his enemies to be at peace with him. Pr.16:7 perhaps this is a good lesson
for us today; no matter what or how our enemies treat us, we are to do
everything good in the sight of the Lord…it’s called humbling ourselves
1Pet.5:5-7.
13
God reveals himself as the
God whom Jacob had vowed a vow at Bethel (Luz) and anointed a pillar
Gen.28:16-22. This is a testimony showing that God honors and remembers any
vows we utter before him; that we therefore ought to be exceeding careful of
our vows Eccl.5:1-7.
Note: It
never fails that whenever troubles abound the Lord God shows up to brighten our
day and lift our burdens. He will also keep us from the hour of temptation…if
we submit unto Him…Ps.119:9-16; Matt.6:13; 1Cor.10:13; Ja.1:12 15.
14-16
Leah and Rachel express
their dire concerns over their father’s treatment of Jacob, not only so but
their personal wealth as well. Their concern is that their inheritance has been
squandered by their father. Apparently the women of ancient days were not
ignorant of what happening. It appears they were very astute. Their inquiry is
that they’ve been traded as slaves sold for their dowries.
17-18
Jacob leaves Laban to return
to his homeland taking all his wives, goods, and wealth. He is gone three days
before Laban discovers theft and accuses Jacob.
19-42
Laban discovers his personal
idols/gods have been stolen and proceeds to hunt for them. Accuses Jacob
igniting a war of words [whenever confronted, we ought to be careful of our
words and voice tone]. So Laban proceeded to search the tents of Leah and Rachel
without success, which angers Jacob who confronts Laban in anger relating
Laban’s treachery toward him:
·
Labored fourteen years for two wives
·
Labored six years for Laban’s flock
·
Wages changed ten times [not an
embellishment]
·
Sustained the loss of Laban’s livestock for
himself
·
Jacob endured the loss of Laban’s stolen
stock
·
His pay was hot days and cold nights without
sufficient sleep
God warns Laban to be
careful how he treats Jacob. [One must use caution in the treatment of God’s
child.]
Laban catches up with Jacob
on the hill of Gilead accusing him of treachery and deceit, of which the very
thing he himself is guilty. [Many times the accuser is the one guilty of the
very things he is accusing the other of.]
Jacob rehearses his plight
to Laban reciting the stress and hardships he endured for twenty years to serve
his father-in-law.
43-55
Laban and Jacob enter into a
covenant together.
Covenant: 1A
binding agreement between two parties. 2A
legally binding promise to do something subject to contractual conditions.
The covenant conditions:
·
Each man took stones to build a pillar on top
of a heap of stones as a witness between them 46, 48
·
They ate together 46
·
The Lord was to watch over them in their
absence from one another to keep their wives and daughters 50,
·
The Lord was to judge between them. [very
serious vow as both were dependent upon the same God of righteousness] 50, 53
·
Jacob swore by the fear of his father Isaac
53
·
Jacob offered a sacrifice upon the heap or
mount, ate and slept there with his brethren 54.
This all causes me to ponder
at their reasoning: could they not trust each other without swearing to God and
Isaac? [Evidently not, considering their past relationship of twenty years]
At any rate the covenant was complete and Laban kissed
his daughters and sons and blessed them, and returned home 55.
Faith
Building Practice and Review
1.
Compare the character of both men throughout
the twenty years.
2.
Which one displayed an impeccable demeanor?
3.
Why did God not disallow polygamy in this
picture?
4.
What is God’s plan for marriage? Monogamy or
polygamy? Explain your answer.
5.
Where do we first find God’s plan for
marriage [chapter and verse]?
6.
Review the definitions of polygamy and gain
an understanding of them.
7.
What, if any, thing did mandrake have to do
with Rachel’s fertility?
8.
What is a covenant?
9.
Name at least four contemporary covenants
today.
10. Why
are covenants so important?
11. Read
Eccl.5:1-6. What, if anything, does it have to do with today’s lesson?
12. Is
Eccl.5:1-6 applicable today?
13. How
so?
14. What
is the Christian view of marriage? support it with Scripture.
Knowing
God
A brief [not complete, add
to the list] synopsis of the persona of God:
·
Love
·
Gracious
·
Merciful
·
Righteous
·
Longsuffering
·
Gentle
·
Faithful
·
Compassionate
·
Forgiving
·
Friend
The ultimate goal of Bible study is to
know God and not to merely memorize Bible trivia. As you study, identify the
attributes of God. For instance: make a note when you read of God extending His
forgiveness or compassion, and remember how He has done the same for you.
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